Courage

Courage would elude
me still. Even if this was
my last night on earth

LB

Truths.

For that very small

Brief amount of time, I know

You still loved me too.

LB

Poet's haiku

I live my life in.
Beats of five, seven and five.
Every single day.

LB

Regrets

I never told you

That I am in love with you

My biggest regret

LB

Irrevocably

I will never want

Anything or anyone

Half as much as you. 

LB

NaNo is here and I am sat watching tv

Here are some photos from the past few weeks. I'm sort for the lack of updates, I've been studying and NaNo has started, I went to London, had tutorials, been sick, reading, sorted my room out, made coffee and it was halloween! I also finished pokemon x (: yay. 

Words.

Life is not like the movies
 and a grand gesture of love
  will not change how you see me.

And irrevocably is fast becoming
          my second favourite word.

Just after you.
    
                       LB.

Life in this house is finished now

Hello. (:

It's been a while since I updated what's going on with my studies or anything of any real value, I still have my Lord of the Rings book review in my drafts that I keep going back to, I still have my travels of China to get to, I just don't ever seem to find time for anything. I'm in week three now and have two assignments due on the 24th. But I have a hit a rut this evening after writing my introductions to both. Tomorrow is a new day and so I will tackle them then but as this section is coming to a close I felt this was needed and I haven't really explained what I'm doing aside from mentioning a book.

Texts books. Two of many.

In 20th Century I've been studying the play The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov, who is apparently quite famous in the literary world, I had never heard of him before. Like most of writers of the 20th century he was a pioneer, he broke the mold. His dramas are not really dramas but represent the realism of reality. Today I suppose this doesn't seem that odd, but what came before was stereotypical Shakespearean style comedy of tragedy (important genres as will come to pass) Chekhov's work seemed rather dull some audiences, whilst others praised his work for highlighting 'real life'.

The play is based around the estate of Madam Ranevsky, who is part of the old, aristocratic Russia and how she has no money and must sell her family home. It represents a changing social time in Russia where being born wealthy was no longer sustainable, hard work was what was paying off and the dramas between the different classes of people in the play. Despite the gloomy description, Chekhov intended it to be a comedy which can be seen, especially in some rather odd lines.

Personally I'm quite indifferent about The Cherry Orchard. I didn't find it hilarious, I didn't die of boredom. However the BBC Richard Eyre's production did actually make me fall asleep. Chekhov wanted a quick comedy and in some parts Eyre drags out scenes, on in particular triples in time to what Chekhov intended.

In Children's Literature we are looking at fairy tales and constructions of childhood which I'm quite happy about as my mum is doing her degree in Childhood studies. I remember reading through her essays on Locke and Rousseau last year. In particular we are looking at different versions of Little Red Riding Hood and how these show the constructions, obviously different time periods and cultures affect these.

This is not that Literature orientated, more contextual, which I find I'm enjoying more than Chekhov at the moment and the Russian contexts surrounding him aren't as interesting sadly. I'm comparing Roald Dahl's poem, Charles Perrault's tale and a film based on Angela Carter's 'A Company of Wolves'. It's funny, because we were talking about free indirect speech and someone said they still didn't get it, and I was like, read Carter, The Bloody Chamber it's really good for showing different types and bam here it is. I originally studied Carter at A level and it is probably one of my favourite books.

Everyone should read this. (:

I find I don't have more to say simply because I don't want the plagiarism detection software to pick any sentences I may re use from here, as despite this being my own blog I'd still be penalised. I have so much essay writing to do tomorrow. Waaaa :(

Nunight! Apologies for the long post.

(:

Undecided

As the cold air chills

The leaves refuse to turn red

They miss summer too.

LB

To train them is my cause!

Hello hello..

If you didn't know already today was the exciting day that Pokemon X and Y were released in the UK. I am undoubtedly a poke nerd. I have spent many, many hours acquiring information on match up types, EV's, level up sets etc etc. I've played every generation and read about this beauty when it was still only maybe a 3D game. 

I bought X originally for the legendary Pokemon and then my choice was affirmed when the X mega evolution for Charizard came out. I'm really excited to see the dynamics of these games. All the type match ups have changed too since the introduction of fairy type. Which brings me to another point.

Another Eeveelution! I am a serial collector of them, I really don't know why. It was a sad time when none were released in Black/White and I think everyone is still holding out for the dragon type evolution. 

I started playing it this afternoon. I ways pick fire types, so Fennekin was obviously my choice. I'm not stuck on whether or not I should get Charmander too that would total my team to three fire types already. Decisions decisions.

Anyways. I may or may not keep an account of my travels in Kalos. I'd love to do so but I didn't have any time to begin with. 

LB

Daily Haiku

My biggest mistake

was not letting you go, but

pushing you away

LB

Daily Haiku

As the rust leaves fall,
and dance through the winter air,
so do I for you.

All art is quite useless

There has been an incredible lack of all the posts I wanted to do thanks to my modules starting up this year. I attempted to do a vlog, but all that is audible is laptop noises, so this will need to be fixed. Anywho this is the first free(ish) evening I've had to actually write about studies, rather than study(ish, I should really be writing about The Cherry Orchard). 

Some of my books arrived today prompting this update...

This year I'm taking Children's Literature and 20th Century Literature and figured I'd tell you how I came to pick them. Sorry for the crappy iPhone photos, my camera is still broken from China (and yes I will get to those too...)

Last year my favourite part about my broad lit module was the 20th Century, something that I never thought would be as I've never been interested in modern history. However I discovered I am a BIG lover of colonial and post colonial history and texts and everything that encompasses modernity. So this year, it really was not a hard choice on what to do. The 20th Century is such an exciting time for literature as new techniques are being tested, revolutions are occurring, empires expand and shrink, audiences are changing, classes are changing. EVERY happens in such a short space of time and I know that know a days there are a lot of technological and other discoveries but nothing compared to how it used to be in such a short space of time. It's such a key time period that contributed to us now that there's nothing not to find fascinating. Geek over on that one.

The reason I chose Children's literature was kind of a last minute choice to be honest, it was between that and Advance creative writing which I had also registered interest for. Last year I did the first Creative writing module and it sucked the life out of me. I don't know if it's because I didn't get on with my tutor or because I felt it should have been either a) really structured or b) not at all. Like surely to get a good mark you need to have a structured assignment requirement so you know what you should be writing to get the marks for, rather than a very open, 'Write about one of the following prompts in autobiographical form, of make up your own'. I wrote to them and suggested they do a genre focused assignment, like, write a short horror story, using the conventions you have learnt about. Because then you could use knowledge you have learnt and apply it and it can easily be graded. If you're being asked to just write something I don't see how that can be marked fairly for every individual student. I might sound bitter because I got a low grade, but I didn't, I just think it's a very subjective module that needs to be fine tuned.

Rant over, long story short, I picked Children's lit instead. I still feel like a kid myself, I still read books that are aimed at 'young adult' or children themselves, I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you haven't read The Power of Five series by Anthony Horowitz, you are seriously missing out. I'm actually really looking forward to this module, it's half literature, half childhood studies. I get to look at Locke and Rousseau yet again!

Read this, seriously. I had to wait 5 years for the last one to come out. 

Anyways small update. I am planning on writing about the books I study as I study them and also doing a round up book review. Aside from working and studying I've been sorting out my room, catching up on all the tv online. Patiently waiting for Supernatural to start and getting hooked on Game of Thrones. I guess I should get back to Chekhov/clearing my bed of everything in the world.

PEACEEEEEE

LB

Daily Haiku

And the saddest part
Will be, how you'll never know
how cherished you are

LB

London: Part Three

London is my one true love

A playground for my insomnia

Her streets chaotic and messy

But her appearance prim and proper

She is unapologetic

With the longest past of anyone I know

Once queen of half the world

She shares with me how she’s grown

She pulls me to her heart

We see museums, paintings and sculptures

She knows so many faces

An array of class and cultures

She takes me out after the sun goes down

But it does not feel like darkness here

With artificial lights always on

There are no external monsters to fear

She has expensive taste

And robs me of my pounds and sense

As her drunken lips are loose

Her posture no longer tense

Her public façade crumbles

And reveals her private self

Torn between duty and liberty

Her eyes plead a cry for help

A shadow of her former self

She cries, and simply doesn’t see

The past is not what defines you

But helps shape you to be

The city of worlds and memories


LB



N.B. This work was submitted for my end of year assessment and as such I was not allowed to publish until after my course had finished. Any plagiarism of this or parts of this will be picked up on through anti-plagiarism software.

Berlin: Part Two

She brought me alive for one of the few times I recall.

A mixture of new and familiar

I felt at home on the subway

Going underground as I followed her

As we sped along to her past

She was clothed with colour

And indecipherable words

A girl with many faces

She was at ends with herself

Offering promise and warmth

Whilst being unbearably cold

Layers upon me, but still shaking

The frosty air reached deep inside my bones

As she showed me the line that ran across her

A scar from a wall made of stone

The last red and silver leaves fell

Onto her pristine skin

Her canvas of art did not reach this part of her

She was tall, modern, exciting.

Everything about her had purpose

Her gate gave way to a square

Uniformed men lined up for her

As the harsh sun lit up her hair

A beautiful combination of old and new

But deep within her also a sadness

For all the suffering she had seen

Her reputation now tarnished

The city of love at first sights and opportunities missed.


LB



N.B. This work was submitted for my end of year assessment and as such I was not allowed to publish until after my course had finished. Any plagiarism of this or parts of this will be picked up on through anti-plagiarism software.

Amsterdam: Part One

We arrived in the morning, the cold air still hung low

And I never imagined I would love a city for her looks

Her small frames held a sense of undiscovered land

Of beauty trapped in the cracks and crooks

She was in her own world

Separated by the deep blue lines that weave like veins

Between her dark and narrow streets

She was cold at first, but after time she changed

She was laid back but not sloppy

Old fashioned, but kept up with technology

She played hard to get, keeping the best parts of her hidden

An individual in a world of millions

She dragged me along her cobbled feet

Whispering temptations in my ear

I inhaled the smoke she gave me

My vision becoming unclear

I stumbled along the street

As red lights shone above our heads

Blurry and hazy

My eyes feeling lazy as she pulled me along

I drank black hot liquid

As she giggled at my incoherency

Her devilish eyes upon me

The room sinfully dark and cloudy

She took me up her slender stairs

Lured me to her white wooden bed

And in the morning she was gone.

The city of one-night stands and everything wrong.

LB

N.B. This work was submitted for my end of year assessment and as such I was not allowed to publish until after my course had finished. Any plagiarism of this or parts of this will be picked up on through anti-plagiarism software. 

Videos?

My lack of updates is again appalling but my laptop keeps dying and I haven't been bothered enough to fix it yet. But yeah, I'm thinking about doing some video posts, mainly for book reviews because, well, it's something different and there are so many times I can write down that a book is good and read it.

All I've been doing this week is working and hanging out with friends and my ear is still blocked! I didn't realise how much not being able to hear effects my ability to talk to other people.

I've also started writing this week, which is good as my creative juices need to get going considering NaNo is just round the corner...

Anyways, small update about possible video crap. I am now going to post my poems from last year's assessment. Which, I will explain what I was trying to accomplish in my personification within a personification which I find really hard to explain.

LB

Life's been cruel to me, but it sure is easy to park

Just a quickie!

As I said before we moved house and the internet was down hence my lack of posts. I did start writing them until my trusty macbook decided that it would stop working. Basically the RAM is a bit dodgy and it keeps cutting out, it's surprisingly working now.

Replacement laptop. 

New room is new?

I'm still waiting to put the main section of my furniture together as many dowels broke and I am waiting for them to be delivered. Once they arrive my room will look spiffing in no time. I would like to do a post, just because I love my room, it took such a long time to get it perfect and I am almost there.

Still not read anymore for uni. :s

And it definitely starts on the 25th. Aside from all of the above and work, I have been very, very sick. So sick in fact, I haven't been able to hear for the last week. Finally a doctor saw me today and it turns out I have an ear infection, in both ears. Marvelous. Thanks for taking your time on that!

Toodles!

LB

Chengdu

Sadly we had to leave Yangshuo behind us and move on to Chengdu. Home of the Pandas and what used to be the capital of Shu (for those of you unfamiliar with this, search Romance of the Three Kingdoms). For years I have always said that if I went to Chengdu I would hold a one. And I did. At the time it was the best thing I had ever done in my life. Like seriously, they're dying out, when are you ever going to get to hold A PANDA!

I've fast forwarded a bit. Leaving Yangshuo at around 8am, after another all nighter in preparation for the twenty three hour train journey we had to endure, we were all a bit sad and very much hanging still. I know it seems like we all drank a lot (which we did) but we did do so many other things too. I digress. The train journey actually was not that bad as I slept for probably six hours, woke up, had some instant noodles, much like we get here but as all the writing is in chinese it is hard to know what level of spicyness you are getting. I got BBQ seafood judging by the taste and pictures of prawns on the front. It was good. Then I read Little Women (one of my set texts for this year) and went back to sleep.

We arrived in the afternoon and had the option of a massage by a blind masseuse  and after the train journey it was eagerly welcomed. I did not quite realise how bad the tension in my shoulders was and how also how bad my leg muscles were. I have restless leg syndrome, which I know doesn't even sound real. We had a couple of hours to walk around some markets but not enough time to really explore. That's the only downside to a timetabled trip, yeah you can not do the options but then miss out on stuff. 

We only had one night here and we tried a famous Sichuan hot pot, known to be the spiciest of the spicy and it did not disappoint. Despite the drinking I had done I had not actually got really drunk until this night where I had my first taste of Bijiu, Chinese rice spirit. At around 80% I'm not surprised it burnt my oesophagus. 

Next day was panda day!  We had to get up early because they don't like the heat that comes with a typical Chinese summer. Me, Pat and Sally (our guide) also did vodka shots at one point the night before, so suffice to say I was not at my best, but I am very lucky in that my hangovers aren't really...hangovers? So we got on a bus to go to the Panda Breeding Research Centre, managed a few hours sleep and tad dah we arrived. I really cannot put into words how awesome it was just seeing pandas munching on bamboo and not really moving.

Then the four of us who wanted to meet the pandas went off to get our little nurse cards and watered some bamboo for them and then went to see one! It really sucks because whoever was taking my photos seemed to miss all the best parts, like I held it, kissed it etc. But at the end of the day. I held a frickin' panda. A PANDA and I don't care if no one else is excited.

After our panda expedition we made our way to the Giant Buddha of Leshan, something I had read about and was so happy to be going to. There were loads of temples along the way and then we had to queue but it was definitely worth it. Again pictures really do not capture the magnitude and size. :(

At the end of this crazy two days it was already time to move on to Xi'an, the walled city, the ancient capital of China.

LB

RIP Franklin

Franklin, my beautiful iPhone 3gs, finally died.
We went through so much together.
I'm so glad we shared China together
Oh I want to drown my sorrows in alcohol.
:'(

Ain't no rest for the wicked

Hello hello. Since I've got back from China I have not rested properly at all, thanks to the fact I am moving house and have to be done by tomorrow. This would all be fine if it not for the fact that I had seriously bad jet lag, I was awake for over twenty four hours with about four hours sleep from the combined nights before, and back to work on the Tuesday. The point is I will not have the internet for a few days and unless I manage to have all my stuff out of here with time to spare, there will not be another post for a little while. Which is annoying as I'm enjoying blogging again. Changing all the layout and spending too long making banners has been really fun and giving me a lot more ideas about what I want this blog to focus on. Sure it's a bit jumbled of stuff, but these are things that are important to me and I'm trying to make it flow nicely. Anyways, I'm tired and rambling and my hair is also now green.

I am very unphotogenic.

LB

Yangshuo

In Hong Kong I met up with the group from Dragon Trip, who I would be travelling around with. Our first stop was Yangshuo, in the the south of China, in the Guangxi province, we travelled by night bus, which was an experience in itself. Yangshuo is quite popular with backpackers but did not seem to be over touristy and more karst parks than I could count where everywhere. It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen and the atmosphere was so laid back it was paradise.

We stayed for three nights in Monkey Jane's Hostel which was one of the places to be thanks to it's own rooftop bar and beer pong tournaments. On the first day we went bamboo rafting down the Yulong River and in the evening went and saw Cormorant fishing. The rafting was really cool and I had never seen such scenery before. In the evening we headed up for drinks and I met some more English people and we ended up watching the sunrise while swimming in the Li River.

On the second day we went bike riding and then hiking to Moon Hill and then on to mud baths and hot springs. The mud baths were so gross and cold. Which at first was very refreshing from the heat in China, until the novelty wore off and it was just cold, thin mud. The driving there was like something out of a video game. No one pays attention to traffic lights, pedestrians or even the police. So bike riding around the city was amazing.

Later on in the evening we went to a chinese massage place where the majority of us got something called 'cupping', in which they light a fire, put it in some wooden cup and then stick it on your back. It's meant to draw out all the toxins in your body but who knows if this is even true. We had food at a local restaurant, it was the most amazing fish I have ever eaten. We also met up with another Dragon Trip group, which meant some preliminary beer pong rounds were played while we all got to know more people. 

       

On the last day, after another late night/alcohol, we all got up early to go Soloing, which is basically rock climbing over a river with no ropes and some of these rocks were seriously high. I surprised myself with my athleticism and bravery when it came from jumping off into the river, which enormously helped all of us get over our hangovers. Me and Pascal decided to hire a scooter in the afternoon after a well deserved nap, while others went for a hike to a small village. I loved it and it was definitely a highlight for me, weaving in and out of traffic.

As it was our last night, the guys from the other group decided they would eat a beating heart snake, which also included a lovely shot of snake blood. When in China! As you can see they literally cut the snake head off in front of us and drained the blood there and then. Monkey Jane's mum then left the room to prepare the hearts and afterwards the snake gets cooked. I tried some and it tasted like chicken. Pretty good I must say. A huge beer pong tournament was had and pijiu (beer) was all around. Everything is so cheap in China it is unreal, coming back to England prices makes me really think about what I'm spending my money on now. You can get a beer for like 50p in some places. Some of us stayed up until dawn as we had a twenty three our night train to look forward to the next day. I did not want to leave Yangshuo and when I go back to China that is going to be my first stop. 

LB

Second Year

When I last wrote about Uni I was at the frantic end to my second year, which is why I found it difficult to update about anything at the time. Now it's all over I felt the need to provide some closure on my modules.

Literature

My last assignment for this course was based on the book The Lonely Londoners by Sam Selvon. It's a post colonial text from the view of migrant workers from the Caribbean living in London after the war. It was probably my favourite book of the whole course because of a combination of things. Firstly the language is brilliant. Selvon uses a Caribbean/English throughout the story, narrator included, which really makes the characters and the story come alive. In an interview Selvon wrote that he tried to write in standard English but it just would not flow.

The Lonely Londoners by Sam Selvon

I also had an exam for this module which went really well. I managed to write sixteen or so pages in three hours and got a 2:1 for the entire module. (:

Creative Writing

Towards the end of this module I loathed creative writing with a passion. I felt that all my creativity had been drained from me, as I felt the module either needed to be extremely tight on guidelines, prompts or genres or completely free. Because of this, my main priority was my Lit module, so when it came down to my final assessment (instead of an exam) I spent a rushed three nights completing it. I chose to do 100 lines of poetry and wrote about three cities, personifying a woman s the city. It's hard to explain but I will post them on here. Overall I graded a 2:2 for this module which isn't what I wanted but I didn't put enough work in to get a higher mark.

The all nighter

That's all there is to say really. In September I'm doing 20th Century Literature and Children's Literature which I'm looking forward to, aside from the fact I have about forty books to read before then.

LB